I sorta wanted to be Ann Voskamp

I admit it. Thirty pages into One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, I almost thought about becoming a farm wife who home-schools her children. (I didn't tell my hubby he'd have to walk away from the hospital and buy a farm.) And I thought about picking up my camera more often - cuz it sits in the closet so much. I even considered hand washing the dishes to meditate on soap suds.

Mostly, I wanted to be the person who could write some of the most beautiful words I've ever read. Her words pierce. They play across the page and sing to your soul until all of a sudden you are face to face with a moment and you must talk to God about it. And sometimes you know He's not gonna like what you're thinking.

Whew. I still have thirty pages to go. And I'm reading it slow. Soaking it up. Pondering, like Mary. And I hope this book will stick. I'm pretty sure it already has. Not because I'm just like Ann now. But because I'm realizing (and this realization started years ago) that what I'm called to do is different from every other person's calling. I'm not called to be Ann Voskamp. I'm called to be Jennifer Fromke. And the part I find difficult to believe is the idea that no one else can be me except me.

And what I pulled from the book is this: it's not about what I'm gonna get. It's all about what I have to give.  And what I have to offer, I only have because it's been given to me first. Like I'm standing in a rushing mountain stream and water is gushing all around me, I'm soaked and happy, and when I turn downstream, I splash water into the air, the sun catches tiny droplets in a golden moment and I push the water further down, because there are others standing in the water.

It's the water that's so beautiful. It's the rush of refreshing movement that cleanses, cools, invigorates. And splashing is just joy. And if I don't even step out into the water, I'm stuck on land with feet in the mud.

If you haven't read One Thousand Gifts, do. Even if it doesn't change your perspective, the words are beautiful unto themselves. But I think it will change something inside you. Truth does that.